I never did that thing when I was a few years younger of dyeing my hair some crazy colour. I went black for a bit when I was 15, but there were never any purples or blues or pinks or whatever. So now, even though it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to say that it’s juvenile for my age, I’m dyeing bits of my hair mauve. My eyes are burning, my throat is tight and my neck is itchy. I’m committing peroxuicide, and to make myself feel better I did a search on tumblr for ‘purple hair’. I greatly regret this. If you do the search you will realise why. By dyeing my hair purple I join the ranks of those girls that make little gifs of themselves looking into the camera all baby-faced, jutting a knee in and out. That, and a bunch of emo/scene kids (DO NOT KID YOURSELF THEY ARE THE SAME THING) that have side fringes and wear hoodies and love their lip-pierced boyfriends.

I do not want to be one of them. I am not one of them. I just want to have interesting hair for a while and look quirky and not be on my death-bed full of regret. I especially don’t want to be 40 and then decide to recapture and edit my misspent youth, because it is very rare that people over 30 with rainbow hair don’t look entirely dickish.